Motherhood is a dirty job

Today I had my friends Sharon and Ken Bolin's two younger kids over along with my own. Started out great, but later in the day, Shana started to have potty problems. I think she's got a bug. We've been through every pair of her undies.

Every time I have a mommy situation like this, I remember back to when I was a kid and wonder what my parents thought as they had to cycle me through every single pair of underwear I owned, or force me to use a kleenex, or mop up a bloody nose (of which I had a lot). I then get some strength from thinking how much patience they had to have had with me. I never heard how inconvenient it was to use an entire box of Kleenex, or don't feel scarred if I did.

Poor Shana. I told her she had a bug in her belly, and she pulled up her shirt and looked down at her belly button. Poor baby! She just sobbed and sobbed. I feel for her, and I really hope the bug has gone.

I didn't ask for this!

I just got involved and dis-involved in a drama that was a long time coming. People say that pastoral work is lonely work. What's trapped me in the past is that the phone hasn't rung all day. Am I all dry? All wet? What is wrong, or is everything ok? Standing in the presence of conflict especially when I can't let go of my convictions is painful, confusing, and ultimately the right answer.

I think of Martin Luther posting a sign on the door, saying "Here I stand, I can do no other." I feel that way. Challenge is that PWOC leadership slate is up for grabs. At this exact moment. God's design? I don't feel any inclination NOT to continue to allow myself to be open to this office.

What does it mean to engage in conflict with people who viscerally disagree with my approach or theology? It means boiling down the issue to just that. It means ensuring that emotions stay out of the fray. It means Matthew 18 has to be the rule of the day. It means guaranteeing that the ultimate goal is to fight for Christ to be better known and loved.

Blessing and being blessed

So....today we got to help my friend Gloria clean her house in anticipation of her husband Troy's return from Afghanistan!!! It was hardly in need of cleaning, but I remember...after they've been gone for a year, you want to make room, clean out the old which gathered during the year away, and make room for the hubby to come home.

Most traumatic was that Spencer got his fingers cut on a peach can. He was more bothered by the paper towel and mitten we stuffed over his cute fingers, but we moms were insistent on him healing well before we moved on to anything else.

It is great to be a blessing. That was the lesson I wanted Shana to learn. It was worth getting out in the snow and toting extra food around for John to help Gloria get excited about Troy's return. And, in the military, you don't have anyone to do it for you!!! Family's not close, and you have to trust in friends to provide help when necessary!

Later, our friend Stephany got to come over and let her girls have the run of the house with Shana. They had a blast. She got to take some clothes home for both Otto and her girls.

I was a little embarrassed because I kinda overreacted at the end of the day to some stupid stuff. We are all human, and I forgot to trust in God for a coupla situations. He's got it and I don't need to revisit it. :)

Turning the Ship toward Home

Thanks be to God for transformation in the 2-1/2 years since writing the last post. I had to hide this blog due to a person's misuse of it and I'm not sure how I feel about having my information for all to see after that incident. What a frightening and frustrating experience, to have my own words used against me. "No weapon formed against you shall prosper," though, so she didn't have the last word. Hallelujah!!!

I have found that God has shaped my future. I have found that I want my heart abandoned to Jesus, and He has shaped my will and desires. I have found relief from the plague that entered my heart now ten years ago when I heard Beth Moore tell me that God's call on my life meant that He was responsible for the outcome.

I have found the peace that comes with trusting Him for my life. I have found the love for Him coming from one who has learned to look forward to what He calls me to do. I have found the optimism that comes from anticipating the life He has for me. He has not banished me, He just can't ask me to lead my life, so He has transformed my expectations so that they match His.

Does this mean I can have anything I want? NO! I can have what He provides, but I have to know that He has the ultimate best for me and wants to do amazing things in and through me. I have to believe that He has my best in mind, and that I don't have the manual for that. Actually, I do. It's His word, and He directs me out of love and according to that word.

Thanks be to God for lifting the cloud that was over me the last time I posted. Maybe I will post again! :)